Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Wednesday Wit

I have not been on form this week. What with a nasty cold, a bad back through attempting some gardening -I knew it would be bad for my health - and a disgusting cold sore on my face, I haven't felt too much like finding something for us all to giggle at. (Hubby says I should have posted a photo of my carrot cake I baked this morning - it's fallen and looks like a carrot cake mousse!)
I am therefore indebted to one of my followers for this week's 'Funnies'. Fishducky doesn't have a blog of her own. If she did, she would be inundated with followers as she is an extremely amusing lady. I have been fortunate enough to receive lots of jokes, anecdotes and very amusing pieces from her in recent weeks.
This week's funnies bring to mind my years of teaching. Exam howlers were always read out in the common room (no names mentioned of course). As for my own howlers, well when I was little and at junior school we had end of year exams. I was very bright and my parents expected much from me. They wanted me to do well and be put up a class the following year.
I read the questions through very carefully.
One asked  'Can you name ten fruit and ten vegetables?'
I held my tongue between my teeth in concentration and got my pencil ready. I wrote down all the vegetables I could think of - carrots, peas, beans, cauliflower, cabbage, leek, turnips, onions, potatoes, squash.
I then puzzled about the fruit: bananas, apples, oranges, pineapples, kiwi, peaches, cherries, strawberries, plums and raspberries.
Happy with my selection, I took out my eraser, rubbed out all the answers and wrote 'Yes, I can!'
Hope you enjoy the funnies. Thank you fishducky.


  1. Sorry to hear you've been unwell this week, hope you'll feel better soon:)I love the fruit and veg story:)

  2. Poetess Wug - cute but very dim!
    EvaMarie Sa - thank you very much. I feel better than I did so I must be on the improve. Still wearing a bag over my face though. My mother tells all her friends about that story, about her 'brilliant daughter'.

  3. Love the funnies! Cute story! Glad to hear you are starting to feel better. There's nothing worse than trying to garden with a drippy nose!

  4. I am sorry to hear you're auditioning for the Glums this week :(
    I do, however, sense a slight crinkling at the corner of your mouth? No, not a wrinkle...a glimmer of a smile? You had to have smiled at this memory! It certainly made me smile :)

    Our weather is bleak and blustery and life is busy, so I've been AWOL from my blogging post as well (thankfully, not due to illness...I do hope you'll be feeling heaps better soon! You probably ran yourself down with all that rewriting of your cover blurb! See, yet another good reason just to be yourself and not try too hard to win over those trumped up publishers ;)

    How is that going, by the way???

    Take care & get to bed early. Drink your vitamins ;)

    Huge hug,
    Des xoxoxo

  5. I thought something must be up, because my little friend up in Staffordshire has been rather subdued lately! So sorry to hear that you're not feeling 100% - do hope you'll be back to your cheeky, minxy self again very soon. When you are quiet, I am quiet. You seem to bring out the humour in me! xx

  6. Darlene - Glad you enjoyed them. Dripping nose is not condusive to gardening, cooking or blogging - it makes my keyboard soggy. Thanks for the good wishes.
    Desiree - Ah yes, always a cheeky smile to be found here even when I'm not firing on all cylinders. The weather plays a large part in how we feel doesn't it? It has been so windy here and chilly that it feels nothing like Spring yet. I hope those dogs aren't giving you too much runaround!
    I've put my first chapter of the book up on a website where other writers' read and review. It has had some pretty good feedback so far and I have written nine reviews for others/ There's a lot of talent out there. Not sent off my blurb yet. Waiting to see if I should make any changes to the book and then will send it all out to unsuspecting publishers.
    Thisisme - we can't have you quiet now, can we. I shall have to shake myself out of this illness and get back on form. I got some vitamins yesterday so I should make a speedy recovery and be ready to irritate Hubby any time soon. Actually, he's not very pleased about his cake I baked him. He's very disappointed that it turned out like carrot cake mousse - I now know why it sank. I haven't told him though.I used self raising flour instead of plain - oops!

  7. Dear BOTUK--Thank you for the lovely mention. FEEL BETTER SOON!!
    Many, many years ago when I was a young bride (one of my sons asked me when he was 4 or 5 years old if there were still dinosaurs when I was little. I told him YES. One should not lie to one's children.) I tried to make a peach pie for a dinner party we were hosting. It turned out wet & slushy, somewhere between a pie & a cobbler, but tasted fine. Our guests scarfed up my "peach piebler"!

  8. PS--I sent you an email last night. Please fish it out of your junk mail & reply. Thanks----Fran

  9. I'm always glad to hear there are other people who can't cook worth a damn. I don't feel so alone.

  10. fishducky - why oh why do your emails keep being sent to junk? I've put you as a contact! I shall go in search of it amidst the ads for viagra and pleading letters from Mr Umdaghwi who needs funds sent to him or he'll be kept hostage in Kenya! Huzzah for people who can't cook (Belle that includes you) Hubby keeps droning on about his carrot vake...fortunately I've given him an alcoholic beer instead of his usual alcohol free and he has gone to bed snoring already. I needed the break!
    Thank you for being there (all of you. You keep me sane. Belle I am so glad I'm not alone. Even my potatoes went mushy tonight and they were new potatoes!
    Night night everyone - I'm going to watch The Apprentice now XOXO

  11. Dear Carol--I've just spent a half hour typing a copy of my 1979 Christmas newsletter which I emailed to you. I also sent you a joke to send to your friends in France. I hope you got them!! Why does your email hate me? I'm a nice person.

  12. It's just not the same day when there isn't a funny post from you, so I hope you get better asap. Loved the funny about the fruits and veggies. Oh and carrot cake is always good, whether it's pumped up or squished...

  13. that was funny:)

    hope you're feeling much better since you wrote.

  14. I hope you';re feeling better :-)

  15. Oh my, you are having a rough week. I hope you feel better this weekend!!

    Thanks again for the visit, so I could find you :-) and following you back!
    ~ Coreen

  16. Well technically you did answer the exam question...haha!

    Thanks for visiting my blog and your encouraging comment!