Monday, 9 May 2011

Don't mess with my blue suede shoes...

     You might recall that I have been having a battle with Hubby over his wardrobe. He has far too many clothes left over from his working days that he will never wear again but that he cannot bear to give away.
     Following on from the great spring clean, and the peacock blue trouser episode, I tried once again to get him to dispose of one or two outfits.
     ‘It’ll make it much easier for you to choose something to wear,’ I explained, having waited an hour for him to get dressed for a shopping trip to town. He had eventually turned up in a smart pair of trousers and a striped jacket which I think he last wore to a wedding. He certainly turned heads, but I can’t help but feel the supermarket isn’t the right place for such attire.
     Hubby huffed and shrugged and glowered as only he can, in a semi helpless way. I left him to it. Two hours later I found him in front of a mountain of shoe boxes. He has more shoes than can be found in a large shoe shop. He had begrudgingly selected a pair that he felt he would no longer be able to wear. They were to go to the charity shop.
     I must say that I highly approved of his choice. There in front of me, pristine and shiny was a pair of ghastly tan shoes. ‘Tan’ doesn’t quite describe the colour of these shoes but to do so would involve a vulgar description involving the words ‘cat’, and ‘sick’. Goodness knows when or why he had bought them. Maybe they were fashionable in the seventies.
     He frowned and scratched his head.
     ‘I don’t want to get rid of them. I’ve never worn them.’ (I could see why he hadn’t worn them.) ‘I just can’t get them to match with any of my clothes so I suppose they’ll have to go. They are beautifully made though,’ he sighed.
     He was right. They were a beautifully made, pair of disgusting coloured shoes. Good thing they were going. I bundled them into a bag before he could change his mind, and the next day I dropped them off at the charity shop.  The lady looked in the box with a dismayed expression.
     ‘They’re expensive shoes,’ she said. ‘But, who would want that colour? I’ll put them up for five pounds and hope someone wants them. Maybe they’ll buy them for gardening.’
I had to agree. They really were not everyone’s cup of tea. Hopefully someone would be willing to shell out a few pounds though. It is for charity after all.
Later that day Hubby came into the kitchen looking even more glum than usual.
     ‘What’s the problem?’ I asked.
     ‘Found this,’ he said holding up a belt the same colour cat....I mean tan as the shoes.
     ‘Okay, I’ll take it to the shop tomorrow,’ I replied.  ‘At least you’ve cleared a couple of things out of your wardrobe.’
He nodded gloomily and like Eeyore plodded back to his room, head down, disheartened.
     The following day, he said he’d take the belt to the charity shop after he had been to the supermarket, as I had to go to the Post Office.  On my way back I passed the shop. The same lady from a couple of days ago was outside putting up a poster.
     ‘Hello,’ she said cheerfully. ‘I sold those shoes you brought in.’
     ‘What a surprise. My husband should be by soon with a matching belt maybe the person would like that too,’ I suggested.
     ‘Oh, I expect so. He didn’t hesitate when he saw them. He said they were very good quality and he thought they were very cheap at five pounds.’
I met Hubby later and told him that his shoes had gone to a good home. He looked at me sheepishly.
     ‘Well, once I found the belt. I thought I could probably match them up with a pair of greenish trousers I have.’
In the boot of the car I could see the boomerang tan coloured shoes.
     ‘Well, they are very good quality,’ said Hubby.

21 comments:

  1. Hilarious!

    I can only imagine what those shoes look like and I shudder along with you! I think it might be best if the shoes "meet with an unfortunate accident...with a knife or lawnmower" at some stage in the near future!

    ReplyDelete
  2. bahahahahahah.............bahahahaha oh that was hilarious !!!! :) made my day :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh dear! I fear there is no hope of your Hubby ever letting go of those shoes.

    I have to admit, in my younger days I had a date with a fella with brown shoes. It was the last date! I still cannot look at a man in brown shoes.

    carol

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, I could just see that one coming!!! The colour sounds delightful - NOT!! I'm surprised he didn't wear the tan shoes with his turquoise trousers at some stage. What a little Beau Brummel he must have been during his working life!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Linda - you are wicked...his lovely shoes under the blades of a lawnmower! I wonder......
    IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY - Huge thanks and glad you are now smiling.
    Dizzy C - Brown - that's a possible yes, but cat sick tan, yeurgh!
    Thisime - I feel ill at the thought. tan and Peacock blue. The problem is that he can carry a lot of these clothes off with style so even outrageous things look stylish. Then, of course, matching these things is a nightmare. Beau Brummel! hee hee, I haven't heard that expression used for a while. The bad news is that I'm curently packing for him to go away again. the tan shoes will NOT be included. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. ps I know currently has two r's in it...I mistyped that's all. (Phew! I think I got away with that one)

    ReplyDelete
  7. The politeness of Brits will ensure those shoes don't leave your life. If you need to hire a Trini to point out to Hubs that the shoes are FUGLY....call me. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I was almost sure he'd buy them back. Can I also add that maybe your hubby won't manage to get rid of even a quarter of his old clothes, even if he doesn't wear them anymore?

    Good thing the money went to charity though... And the shoes actually got out in town for maybe the first time since they were bought?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I knew it! That's hilarious. Now, He's going to have to find something that goes with cat... I mean tan!

    ReplyDelete
  10. trininista - Now you are definitely someone who he'd listen to. He already has a penchant for you. I'll have to work on that.
    Lavi - you probably know him as well as me by now with all th etales I tell of him. he doesn't realise that he is predictable...I'm glad the money went to a good charity though. I had to stop him buying some more things in there today.Now he's discovered the shop there's no stopping him!
    Darlene - I dread the day he comes home with a velvet 'tan' jacket or worse still a corduroy one - eek!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh man, my husband would so do that! He just bought himself a suit at a local thrift shop. He didn't bother to try it on before he bought it, though. Well, I guess that's 10 extra dollars for charity.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am laughing so hard my sides ache. I had a feeling he would buy them back! Don't you know you never send them back in the same shop unattended? hahaha This is pricless! Thank you for the laugh. I needed that this morning!

    ReplyDelete
  13. He's a typical man. Those clothes remind him of when he was the bread winner and supported his family and home. Getting rid of them will remind him that he's not that person any more. My late hubby was so devastated about not being able to support us. No matter how much I told him that it was a blessing that he could run errands for me, get groceries, etc. etc. he hated it. Hope this doesn't happen to yours.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think I can give you a more specific color description on hubby's "tan" shoes. I'm an artist & even though it's never listed as such on tubes of paint, every artist knows exactly what you mean when you say "baby s**t brown" or "baby s**t yellow".

    ReplyDelete
  15. LOL! Your hubby sounds like mine. He has a closet full of stuff he´ll never wear/use. What we do is build sheds to house his stuff(we have two already, one is currently being added on to). hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  16. Rachel How worrying - another Hubby-a-like...maybe they all came out of the same mould.
    craziness Abounds - You are most welcome. Hubby has a knack of making me laugh too!
    Bouncin Barb - Sadly he is on that path...I'll have to try and distract him...I wonder how :)
    fishducky - you artists have a wonderful range of colour names. I think your description of Hubby's shoes conjures up the colour perfectly.
    Betty - oh no, not a shed. He's already got one stuffed full of rubbish! Eek!
    Sorry folks. I am off line now until Saturday. I'll be able to read comments but not reply. Hope you all behave while I'm away (!) Hugs to you all XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  17. My husband hangs on to clothes forever. I finally got him to give away the pants he wore twenty years ago that are too small. I guess he finally faced the fact he won't lose all the weight he put on. He wears his pjs until they are thin, see-through shreds of cloth. I told him I was going to bury him in them since he loved them so much.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh no! It sounds like your hubby is a "collector" like my DH. It is very, very frustrating.... You have my sympathies.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Carol,
    Just wanted you to know I recieved my package from you today and the mascara is perfect. Thank you so much for brightening my day (and my eyes which have been in serious need ot repair lately)
    I hope you have a lovely day!
    Thanks again,
    Melynda

    ReplyDelete
  20. Giggle, you do make me smile. You know my hubby insists on hanging on to things too. I have been caught trying to replace or remove the raggedy or offending garments in the past and it always causes a stir. Hugs and wishes for a day filled with Happy!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm telling you, he and Doug were separated at birth. Maybe we could get our hubs together and they could start their own chain of shoe stores.

    ReplyDelete

THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY AND LEAVING A COMMENT.