Saturday, 16 April 2011

'Walking back to happiness...'

     The trip to Berlin last week went well. The biggest problem I had after Hubby couldn’t choose what to wear was preventing him from buying a new German car when we visited the large showroom there (every day).
     He insisted we walked to the big Mercedes showroom which was some way from the hotel so we could take in the sights as we walked. He also decided to take control of the map so I didn’t have to keep putting on my glasses to look at it and then take them off again every five minutes. Hubby managed to get us lost and a couple of miles off the correct route so the trip to the showroom was actually six miles (I know because I wore my pedometer!)
     Having done a lengthy detour to get to the showroom I took command of the map for the return journey as both of us were getting sore feet and Hubby still maintained we would see more by walking rather than catch a ride in a taxi.
     We marched down all the main streets and I pointed out all the major sites and peered continuously at the map working out the shortest return route. Hubby trundled along beside me, miles away dreaming about driving down an autobahn at speed in a fast Merc.
‘Turn here,’ I commanded and we entered a street blocked by some tape.
‘Oh, it says route blocked. No Entry,’ I told him reading the sign.
‘No, it can’t be. What’s the alternative route?’
     I checked the map. It would mean walking at least a mile back up the road we had come down and then going out of our way another mile to get back on the road which lay more or less ahead of us.
‘I’m not going that far. My feet hurt.’
‘We could get a taxi,’ I offered.
Hubby looked around. There was no traffic.
‘No taxis here. I suggest we ignore the sign,’ he said and ducked under the tape.
‘The Germans are quite strict,’ I pleaded. ‘They don’t cross the road if the little man on the crossing is on red. They have strict rules about things and obey them,’ I continued.
‘Well I’m not a German and I shall just pretend I didn’t understand the notice,’ said Hubby and marched on.  
Further on there was another larger notice and some wooden barriers.
‘I think we might have to turn around,’ I announced. ‘This looks blocked off for some reason.’
‘I’m not going back now,’ said Hubby climbing over the barrier. ‘Flipping roadworks,’ he complained.   
     We continued along the quiet street. I walked and stared at the map simultaneously trying to work out an alternative route. When I looked up I noticed Hubby had become distracted by a large glass fronted building where a meeting was taking place. There were lots of tables on view around which sat important looking people and Hubby, ever the businessman, pressed his nose up to see what was going on.
‘What are you doing? Come away you don’t want to distract people having a meeting.’
‘Do you know,’ he said. ‘I think that might be Bill Gates?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ I replied looking at the map to get my bearings again. ‘Why would he be in Berlin?’
‘No, it is him. And I think I know that chap there too.’
     I sighed. He must have had too many beers. I turned to check the name of the street ahead and at that precise moment about thirty armed policemen appeared from out of the back of a parked van and politely but firmly asked us to move on.
‘Vot are you doink here?’ they said (in German of course).
‘Sorry, we’re just trying to get back to the hotel. My husband thought he saw someone he recognised,’ I joked. ‘Bill Gates,’ I laughed nervously.
‘Yes, vell, he Is here mit der Israeli Prime Minister, Herr Netanyahu. You,’ said one policeman pointing his finger at us. ‘You cannot come dis vay,  so, please, avay you go. Komm.’ And we were escorted back through the cordon we had penetrated and past the bright green tanks which were parked on the main road and which we somehow had managed not to notice.
     We had to retrace our footsteps and go around the road to get back to the hotel but half an hour later as we sat on a bench to rest our feet  we watched the cavalcade of delegates storm down the main road in black Mercedes cars sporting blue flashing lights and accompanied by motor cycles, sirens and what appeared to be the entire German police force.
‘See I told you it was Bill Gates,’ said Hubby as he rubbed his feet. ‘I wonder if we could find a taxi now.’

For all of you kind enough to leave Hubby a comment he has finally responded with an epic letter. Make sure you have a glass of wine ready or a cup of coffee before you read it on his page.


  1. You are so funny...did you write scripts for Colonel Klink in Hogan's Heroes...I can here his voice when the police talk!!

  2. Oh my...I'd forgotten all about that series until you mentioned it. i used to love watching that as a child. Thank you Pam

  3. You two just can't help yourselves, can you? Always getting up to something! Thank heavens Thisisme can't blame me for not being attentive this time...I had nothing to do with it. I wasn't there (do you hear me, Thisisme???)

    We 'got lost' in Sydney going walkabout through the city and so I well know the feeling of tired aching feet, but just having to keep on going. We were there at the time of the G10 Summit (I think that was the name). Half the city was cordoned off, with policemen everywhere, ensuring no one got anywhere near any of the delegates, especially the George Bush contingency.

    Has Hubby got over his Mercedes lust, or is he still hankering after getting one? Just think how much mileage you'd be able to get from that, if he goes ahead with it. You could have a great time at your favourite dress shop and not feel the least bit guilty!

  4. I hate it when that go for a walk and end up on the other side of some barrier tape, almost in a meeting with Bill Gates! Ha! Ha!

  5. Desiree - I just seem to be attracting mischief at the moment. Sydney eh? Now I would fancy that. As for the Mercedes no, Hubby has an ongoing lust problem with these cars. He's got better since he retired and stoopped changing the car every year but now it's worse because he sits in front of the internet sighing with desire. If only I were a Mercedes Benz!
    Poetess Wug - what a great comment. No more needs to be said.

  6. this is awesome! we were in Brussels last summer and my 21yr old daughter, hubs and I got lost walking have seen us trying to ask for directions back to our hotel!!! How funny.
    If I am going to read your hubbies long note back with a glass of wine, I must wait until evening since it is only 8:30am here...hehe...

    have a great weekend my friend

  7. Now you've made me feel really old, saying that you used to watch 'allo 'allo WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD! I was much older than a child when I used to watch it! It's alright Desiree, I know that you weren't to blame this time for the latest shinanigans Mr & Mrs Carol were getting up to. I'm beginning to think that they're not safe to be let out alone!! LOL!

  8. Should have worn your glasses and saved on the feet! Men just don't do well with maps I'm convinced. I did most of the navigating when riding with Bruce in his 18 wheeler. Poor men!

  9. I love it! What are the odds. Hubby now has a story to tell forever about how he was right to cross the line! It was a delightful story but now I have to go check out Hubby's letter. Curiosity is getting the better of me I must admit.

  10. I am not sure if a GPS would help or hinder you two! Hee hee!

  11. Your hubby reminds me of my mom. Whenever we would go hiking, she'd keep saying "let's see what's behind that bend" and we'd be walking for hours. Road blocks or unmarked paths never stopped her.

    But hey, you saw Bill Gates and didn't get arrested. A gps would be a great idea. You mentioned you got a smart phone or iphone. You should be able to get a gps on it, with route calculator. My fiance is very happy about his.

  12. I am a new GFC follower. Please visit my page and follow me back at

    That story is so cool. I can't wait to visit Germany some day. That is where my husband was born as a military brat. He didn't move to the states until he was 13.

  13. Nice to meet you, I love your sence of humor...reminds me of mine :)

  14. Oh God... this reminds me of an epic route march around the wilds of Bangkok... in 99% humidity... and a tropical downpour... AAARRRGGGHHH! But, there was no Bill Gates... and no taxis either... I STILL don't know how we made it back to the hotel!

  15. melody-mae - it's a jolly good thing you weren't with us then! My next post invoolves getting lost. Good luck with Hubby's epic. I got bored typing it.
    Thisisme - no, don't worry 'I shall say zis only once' wasn't 'Allo Allo' it was 'Hogan's Heroes' we were discussing. I was certainly older than a child when 'Allo Allo' was on the screen...I've got the whole series on DVD too.
    Bouncin'Barb - I have to agree. Men claim to be better at directions but it just isn't the case in our house. If ever I drive and rely on Hubby's directions we always get lost.
    Craziness Abounds - haha I'm going to have to watch out for you. I'm detecting a wicked sense of humour.
    On my Soapbox - I wish I'd thought of a GPS - that would be brilliant especially if it barked instructions in a German voice 'Turn left now, nein, nein you dumbkopfs, now!'
    Lavi - your Mum sounds fun. Yes we have gps on the phone but Hubby won't let me use it abroad because it is too expensive (snigger, snigger)
    Hello and welcome Valerie - I'm a military brat too and was born in germany. I lived there until I was 9.I'm coming to visit you as soon as I finish this comment. Thank you for following.
    Siv - thank you. I feel honoured to be considered funny.
    Janet NZ - you are joking! That sounds like a nightmare. Hubby does not do humidity at all so I think I'll leave Bangkok off the bucket list.

  16. I obviously wasn't concentrating when I wrote that comment! Where did I get Allo Allo from ?! DOH!!!

  17. Ok that was a good laugh for today. I have to make sure to come back often for more stories.

  18. You are very funny! I get so scared walking around unfamiliar places...
    I am a new visitor and follower via Crazed Fan Weekend:)

  19. Your life is such a GRAND adventure.......kt

  20. I've done the whole I don't speak the language thing before- really.

  21. Thisisme - Obviously you have been at zee sherry again :)
    Divine in Mind - please do come back. I have lots of them.
    Doreen - A big hello and welcome. Very pleased to have you here.Make yourself at home. I shall,of course, be en route to you as soon as I finish this little message.
    Outofmymind - Yes, I think I'm very fortunate. There's not a day goes by when I don't appreciate how lucky I am. (even beinng with Hubby at times. Mind you I usually need a glass of wine to fully appreciate him!)
    Bodacious Boomer - I would expect nothing less from you. I'd rather like to have you as a travelling companion. I reckon you'd be a hoot.

  22. OK - so I'm slow and when I first started following this blog I thought "I wonder if Carol knows this woman's copying her" - seriously, sometimes my driveway doesn't go all the way up to my garage.

  23. Too funny! I can picture you all being 'escorted' like naughty children!